Loving Others Well: Lessons from 1 John

In 1954, Roger Bannister did something the world thought impossible: he ran a mile in under four minutes. For nine years, the record of 4:01.4 had stood untouched, with many believing the human body simply couldn't break the four-minute barrier. Yet just 46 days after Bannister's breakthrough, someone else did it. Today, hundreds of runners have achieved what was once deemed impossible.

This story perfectly illustrates a profound truth about human relationships: we often struggle to achieve what we've never experienced or witnessed firsthand. Just as runners needed to see the four-minute barrier broken to believe it possible, many of us struggle to give love because we've never truly experienced it ourselves.

The Love Deficit

We live in a world where many people talk about love but few have experienced it in its deepest, most transformative form. Like someone trying to describe the taste of an exotic fruit they've never eaten, we attempt to give something we've never fully received. The Beatles famously sang "All you need is love," but the reality is more nuanced – we need both to love and be loved.

This dual necessity creates a challenging paradox: How can we give what we've never received? How can we show others deep, unconditional love if we've never experienced it ourselves?

The Source of Love

John, in his first letter, provides a compelling answer to this dilemma. After decades of experiencing and observing love in action, he came to a profound conclusion: "We love because He first loved us." This simple statement contains a revolutionary truth – authentic love isn't something we manufacture; it's something we first receive and then pass on.

Think of it like a solar panel. It doesn't generate its own light; it receives light from the sun and converts it into energy that powers other things. Similarly, our capacity to love others is directly connected to our ability to receive love from its source.

 Four Principles for Transformative Relationships

1. When People Have Profound Experiences of Love, They Want to Share Them.

When we experience something life-changing-- like love from someone, we naturally want to share it with others. Whether it's a great movie, a fantastic restaurant, or a transformative relationship, meaningful experiences create an overflow that benefits others. An encounter with God's love is a profound experience that we too will want to share

Now, let's consider the four minute mile discussed above. Just like seeing someone break the four-minute mile changed what runners believed possible, experiencing genuine love transforms our understanding of what relationships can be. It sets a new standard and shows us what's possible in our connections with others. It's the same way with God's love as John says "Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John4:11)




2. Those Who Live Close To God Find That Their Love For Others Is Always Increasing
Those who stay close to God's love become more loving. It's like spending time with a great athlete or successful entrepreneur – their qualities begin to rub off on you. When we remain connected to the source of love, connected with God, our capacity to love naturally increases.
John says in v. 16. God is love. whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us. – 1 John 4:16-17. When you live close to God, you find your love increasing.

3. Perfect Love Eliminates Fear
Many of our relationship struggles stem from fear – fear of rejection, failure, or hurt. But as we experience and grow in authentic love, these fears begin to dissolve. Like a light pushing back darkness, love naturally displaces fear in our relationships. But drawing close to God and accepting his love helps our fear dissapate. As the Apostle Paul says, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). The author of Hebrews says, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can human beings do to me?”

4. Love is a Chain Reaction
“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19. Love creates a positive cycle - the more we receive, the more we can give. This principle challenges us to focus first on receiving love before trying to give it to others. You can't pour from an empty cup so be sure to fill yourself up with God love and spread that love around!

Breaking Your Own Four-Minute Mile

Just as Bannister's achievement showed others what was possible, experiencing genuine love can transform our understanding of relationships. The key isn't trying harder to love others but positioning ourselves to receive love more deeply.

Start by acknowledging where you are. Have you experienced the kind of love you're trying to give others? Are you attempting to break the four-minute mile without ever seeing it done? The journey to better relationships might not begin with giving more love, but with opening yourself to receiving it more fully.

Remember, you cannot give what you do not have. But once you've experienced true love, you'll find yourself naturally becoming more loving – not through effort or willpower, but as a natural overflow of what you've received.

The world needs more love, not just the superficial kind that makes for good song lyrics, but the deep, transformative love that changes lives. Maybe it's time to stop trying to break the four-minute mile on your own and instead learn from those who have already done it.

When we focus on receiving love first, we create a reservoir from which we can give to others. And just like Bannister's achievement, once we experience it ourselves, we can show others what's possible in their own relationships.